I am having a lot of issues with my TMJ. It feels physically impossible to relax the muscles of my jaw. Some have told me that this implies I’m holding back. I wonder about that. Generally, I am an outspoken person. But, when I think about the things I would like to say vs the things I actually say, I realize I do hold back. A lot.
For example, when I’m at work on a call with someone who is preventing me from moving forward with a project and I can’t figure out why they are even involved in the decision making process, I don’t say, “why do you think you have the right to an opinion about this?” or “I’m sorry, why are you here?”
There was a time in my life when I probably would have.
Acclimating myself to a career in the corporate world has largely meant learning how to keep my mouth closed. Apparently, clenched tight.
Oddly, people seem to feel like they’re a “value add” (one of my favorite corporatisms) by pointing out any possible reason why we shouldn’t do something. It’s rare to meet a person who wants to suggest how we could do something.
Even more oddly, this has been consistent across the companies I’ve worked for throughout my career; it is not unique to the company I work for now. I wonder what it is about corporations that create the need in people to be gatekeepers? Or is it that they feel that way their whole lives and a corporation just provides a place to express their inner selves? Is there such a thing as a born gatekeeper?
When these people say “I’m here to help,” what they mean is, “I am here to maintain the status quo by causing delays so that we’ve completely missed the market before you can force any changes.”
In the meantime, I clench my jaw and try not to scream.
I guess I am holding back.
Thankfully, I now have Tisen to nudge me with his nose during the highest stress moments in my day. Tisen reminds me that there are far worse alternatives to being gainfully employed and able to work from home.
Working from home also saves me an hour and a half a day that I get to spend on trying to become a better photographer. So, who am I to complain?
On the subject of photography, this is the final edition of “Going Vertical.” Today’s shots are, however, macro shots rather than landscape. Well, at least some of them. I’ve been told the official definition of “macro” means a 1:1 relationship between the size of the image and the size of the subject in real life. Clearly, not all of these photos meet that criteria.
I had a lot of fun shooting reflections in the wetland area. Unfortunately, I’ve found that how much fun I have while shooting is not a predictor of how much I like the resulting images.
The completely original 3 images processed into the horizontal shot: