Writing my blog at the end of my day, which seems to be getting later and later, leads to pondering the meaning of life. I’m becoming increasingly suspicious that the meaning of life cannot be pondered–if I’m thinking about it, I’m probably missing it.
Having been obsessed with Powerpoint for the past couple of weeks, spending virtually every waking moment either on conference calls looking at/talking to Powerpoint presentations or creating/revising one giant Powerpoint file that likes to crash whenever I modify the data contained in the charts, I found I’ve gradually lost sight of everything else. It’s as if my vision has shortened to the distance between my eyes and my computer screen.
Even when I took a break to walk Tisen (poor guy had to wait for my husband to come home for lunch to get a mid-day break) at what was supposed to be dinner time (Dinner! I knew I forgot something!), I was so inside my head thinking about what I was working on that I could only remember about half of the walk when I returned and I wasn’t sure which route we had taken through the park.
Now, having temporarily pulled myself away from the need to endlessly revise my slides, I find myself wondering why I am so obsessed with finishing something that can never be done. It contains information that will change, data that will grow, and theories that will be disproven. It is as transitory as I am, but with a shorter life expectancy.
I will finish using it for what I need it for. I will change it if I need it again in the future. I will share it and get feedback and make more changes. Some day, it will be set aside never to be opened again. Yet, right now, it has become the center of my life.
I decided I needed some perspective. Having shortened my view for so many hours over so many days now, the endless view from an overlook seemed like just what I needed. Unfortunately, it’s too late to take a drive to an overlook and I’m too tired to contemplate going out for a view. Instead, I dive into my photos and find the views I’m looking for.
It’s a funny thing how looking at a photo of a big view can make you feel like you’re really looking out a window instead of at yet another computer screen the same distance from your eyes as the one you were tired of staring at all day.