I’ve been thinking about the feeling that there are things I have to do. I find myself wondering if there is a way to bring the joy I feel when I do the things I want to do to the things I think I have to do.
After all, do I really have to do anything?
Yes, I have to eat. Yes, I have to drink (at least water). And, yes, I have to sleep. I enjoy all of those things none-the-less. For example, I can eat just to fill my belly, grabbing whatever happens to be convenient and edible (which I still enjoy, truth be told) or I can make a really delicious and nutritious meal that makes me feel cared for and grateful.
Similarly, I can drag myself off to bed far too late and flop myself between the sheets feeling like I wasted another day. Or, I can be aware of when I’m getting sleeping, decide I need to rest and enjoy sliding into bed, allowing myself to sink into the mattress with a feeling of bliss.
Is it what we do that counts or how we do it?
Having a job means getting things done whether we want to do them or not. Is it possible to learn to really enjoy what we do day-to-day? I enjoy feeling like I can take complex problems and break them down to tasks that can be achieved. I enjoy feeling like I came up with an idea that will work. I enjoy feeling like I can bring my own unique contribution to the table. Is that enough?
Realistically, it’s hard to enjoy every single thing that we do from the moment we get out of bed to the moment we retire. I mean, can I really learn to take joy in taking out the trash? How does the concept of “I am enough” apply when it comes to the mundane aspects of life?
I don’t think the implication is that we should set limits that say “I’m not going to take out the trash because it’s not a task I enjoy.” After all, I do not enjoy having trash laying around my home. I do enjoy having a house clean and orderly enough to look like it’s inhabited by humans.
Perhaps this is really another balance point. Spending enough time on housework to feel comfortable in the space without doing things for the sake of what I think other people would think if they stopped by. Is that enough?
And how do I take the concept of enough to work? It is impossible for me to ever do enough to feel like I’ve done everything I could do–there aren’t enough hours in the day. I guess enough means finding the balance between feeling like I’ve made progress and allowing myself the time I need to do other things that are important to me.
Is “enough” just a new word for “balance”?