We walked along an all-but-deserted road along Bald River around sunset last Wednesday.

A bright but blighted leaf hanging on a tree as we hiked along Bald River

About what the sky looked like to the naked eye at our campsite in Cherokee National Forest

The movement of the stars (well, the earth) causes stars to form trails if you leave the shutter open long enough (about 30 min in this case).

10-stop ND filter warms scene and requires a LONG exposure, making water silky.

If you take the hiking trail just past Bald River Falls, you discover another set of falls.

Tight shot of tiny part of falls, stop-action, B&W

Stop-action shot of white water

Playing with leaves on the stream both in shooting and post-processing

Playing with leaves on the stream both in shooting and post-processing

Playing with leaves on the stream both in shooting and post-processing

Playing with leaves on the stream both in shooting and post-processing

10-stop ND filter.

More 10-stop ND filter work on Bald River

Another 10-stop ND filter shot.

This was taken from the side of the river, not from inside a cave, but I felt like it looked like that.

A 10-stop ND filter creates what some people refer to as the “postcard effect”.

No mystery as to where the rest of the leaf went

A bright yellow leaf lying alongside Bald River

If “zen” is used (casually) to refer to a state of mind where you experience life as it is vs through the thoughts you have about your experiences, I have to wonder if being a housewife/husband is the fastest path to achieving a state of zen.

After all, I’ve heard stories of how zen masters teach achieving enlightenment by doing repetitive, unappreciated tasks that will only be undone and need to be done again.

One of the things I have been working on intensely is learning to leave behind my Type-A habits, be fully present, and really experience my life instead of missing what’s happening because I’m busy worrying about an imagined past or future.

I have run head-on into the most stubborn part of my Type-A traits recently. Having extended my leave of absence from my day job for another 6 months, there are some new developments in our lives:
We must re-learn how to carefully evaluate our spending decisions if we’re going to stick to the financial plan we made when I started my leave (personal leave comes with no pay).
This means one or both of us must cook more.
My husband is working long hours on his feet all day, so the cooking is falling to me.

Any of you who have read my blog for any length of time or who know me personally are probably aware of just how much I like to cook.

This is the crux of what I dislike about cooking (or any household chore): it’s a lot of effort for something that gets completely undone in only moments and then must be done all over again only to be undone once more. You are never done. You can never check it off your to-do list.

The incredible inefficiency of going in a continual circle makes me batty–it’s going backwards. I have an obsession with efficient, forward progression. It is my most Type-A tendency. Almost paradoxically, I would rather sit on the couch doing nothing than invest time and energy in a task that will have to be repeated–I become a Type-B when contemplating such a task!

There is nothing I struggle with more than going backwards.

So far, I have tried to counter this feeling by cooking in bulk. By making large quantities of soup, I have the satisfaction of seeing neat containers in the freezer and fridge waiting for us for days.

But as the supply dwindles, I find my old resentment bubbling up again. I question whether we would be better off just going back to eating out–couldn’t that time cooking be better spent growing the business than saving a few dollars?

I would love to hear from someone who genuinely enjoys cooking for their loved ones and how they get satisfaction from such a task. I’ve heard there are such people in the world, but I suspect it’s one of those legends like Big Foot.