Crazy Kinks

I wake up early, aching with pain.  It’s the pain that awakens me.  I lay in bed in protest.  If I ignore it, perhaps I will be able to go back to sleep.  But I ache worse that I’ve ached in a really long time.  Each hand has three completely numb fingers.  Pain shoots down my shoulders and into my arms when I turn my head just a fraction of an inch.  I try to re-position my head by pushing with my legs and sharp stabbing pains in my legs remind me of the muscles I pulled yesterday.  My neck is so stiff that I cannot turn my head to the left.  I lay there for a moment contemplating whether there is anything in reach that I could just smash over my head in the hope that it would make the rest of my body hurt less.

Instead, I accept that I really must heed the call of nature and push myself to upright using my hands.  As I move into a vertical position, the pain in my neck now shoots up into the back of my skull as well as down into my shoulder and lower back.  I wish I had a detachable head like a barbie–I could set it aside until my neck healed and then put it back on.

I shuffle my way to the bathroom, moving my shoulder slowly in circles as a I make slow progress across the room.  I am suddenly grateful that our apartment is so small that it’s not far to walk to get to the bathroom.  I am not, for the fist time in my life, grateful that I don’t have the equipment to stand when I get there because sitting is no fun and getting up again is even worse.

I make it back to the kitchen and start up the coffee.  While it’s brewing, I gather together my yoga props.  There is no question in my mind that restorative yoga is going to be the first order of business today.  I use my neck pillow under my neck in each of my poses, hoping to relax some of the spasming muscles that are making me so miserable.  I do a thread-the-needle pose in the hope of stretching my neck.  Child’s pose ends up being the pose that does the most to alleviate the pain.  With my arms extended as far as I can reach away from my body, my forehead resting on the floor (that took a while), and my shoulders shrugged up to my ears, I finally feel the sharp pain in my neck starting to ease just a little.

Having stretched my neck as well as all my other sore muscles as much as I can for now, I decided to relax on the couch.  My neck starts to spasm more painfully almost immediately.  I move to the desk chair instead.

I sit in the desk chair with my head propped on its neck rest and feel the stretch up the back of my neck.  This does a lot to help with the pain, but I’m still uncomfortable enough that I lean back in the chair and sit there without trying to do something.  Pat comes out and turns on the TV.  I sit and watch whatever he turns on.  This is going to be a good day to just rest.

However, eventually, we get hungry.  Deciding that we really do need to get up and move if we hope to heal, we agree to walk across the river to eat lunch.  We walk over to the Walnut St bridge and down to Market St, looking for a place we thought we’d seen before and wanted to try without really remembering what it is.  We find ourselves outside the Hair of the Dog Pub, which has a Sunday brunch menu.

We walk inside and find one of the few pubs in the area that allows smoking in doors.  Fortunately, there is no one smoking this morning.  Unfortunately, many decades of smokers make it smell like someone is smoking anyway.  We decide we can tolerate it and take a table.  We both order the Hashish breakfast.  While the name is fun, we pick it because the description sounds tasty.

While we wait on our food, we each sip a beer (it is, after all, now afternoon).  I’ve decided to try Beck’s Oktoberfest while Pat goes with something I’ve never heard of.  Oktoberfest is still going on in this pub, with special German beers available through the end of November in celebration.  A couple comes in the front door, looks around, and then walks over to us and asks us if we want a coupon, sets a sheet of paper on the table and leaves.  It turns out it’s a two-for-one coupon on entrees.

The food arrives and it’s an enormous plate of hashbrowns covered in cheese and eggs and bratwurst.  I like it a lot.  Pat likes it except for the bratwurst.  I end up eating most of his brat and still nearly cleaning my plate.  Not sure, but I’m not thinking this is going to help the way my jeans have been fitting lately.

On the way home, we stop at the aquarium gift shop to look for baby gifts.  We’ve passed by several other baby stores, but I want something cute and cuddly for our friends’ new daughter and I remember seeing funny stuffed animals at the aquarium.  After selecting an adorable big-eyed, pink sea turtle for the baby and a super stretchy rubber octopus for her older brother, we head on home.  The head of the octopus is a soft, stretchy ball that expands into a clear yellow that allows you to see little white balls inside when you squeeze it.  I end up squeezing that octopus all the way home.

We collapse in our respective chairs when we get home.  Me with ice and a neck pillow and Pat with pillows and blankets.  We settle in to watch a show on Porsche collectors and I manage to nod off for an afternoon nap.

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