Another week gone by. The weather changed from highs in the 80’s to highs in the 50‘s. What is most shocking about the change in the weather is the sudden awareness of the passage of time. This never fails to surprise me: “What? Is it really late enough in the year for frost???”
Every year goes faster. This is an inevitable effect of aging–the older I get, the smaller the portion of my life a day represents. The perception of time is relative. Ironically, the more I want to slow the clock down, the more it speeds up.
Time has become my most cherished commodity. There is so much to do and so little time in which to get it done. I have come to long for sleep with the same nostalgia I once longed for Christmas–it always seems far off and then disappointing when it’s over.
In choosing to spend more time on enjoyment, I have seem to amassing a time deficit. Even when having a great time, I wish for long nights of solid sleep and slower days with less to do–is it possible to just enjoy without wishing for something more?
I seem to vacillate between exhaustion and hyperactivity. Exhaustion leads to periods of time of keeping to myself, not socializing, not taking on extra activities. Boredom and frustration sends me back into hyperactivity. Doesn’t it seem like by now I should know how to strike a happy medium?
Of all the things I have going on right now, most of them are fun. Other than our dog who has horrible allergies that keep him scratching and licking himself all night, disturbing our sleep, I only have my usual complaint, which is work.
I’m staying up late Friday and Saturday nights volunteering for the Acres of Darkness haunt. It’s so much fun, I can’t complain about that. I’m also having a ball preparing to teach my first photography workshop. No complaints about that time spent.
Work is work. It’s hard to let go–it haunts my dreams far more than the ghouls and zombies found along the trail at Acres of Darkness.
I gave up on keeping up on my other blog this week, opting to skip many days of posts on snapgreatphotos.com in favor of getting to bed before midnight.
Social engagements and early morning yoga on Friday’s are really the only other things occupying my time. These are energizing and balancing activities for me–they keep me centered.
So, what do I give up? The things I love doing? The things I do to pay for the things I love doing? Or sleep? I am reminded of a quote from Carl Sandburg:
Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.
How do I decide if I’m spending my coins or someone else is?